· 4.13.14

sooo my boyfriend and i decided that after he graduates from college we’re moving to san jose, cali. :3 i’m so exciteddddddd. 




i go through periods of 

“i’m so fucking cool and awesome and hot. I would date me” 

followed by 

“i’m so fucking ugly why do people talk to me i’m such a loser” 

followed by 


followed by 

“oh my god everyone is so fucked up i hate people and want to die.”

All before 9am

Yeah basically

  · 4.6.14

so i’ve been debating with myself for like.. days now lol. the debate is dealing with money. 
i’ve made a decision to leave school after this school year is up (about 3 more weeks). i have been given a job offer for the summer to explore and travel and own my own business. 

my mother wants me to get a job right now. like right this second. basically, she tried to guilt me. i understand she has three hospital bills to pay along with other bills but there are plenty of things she can do to cut her costs that she just will not do. i’ve made my suggestions but she gets angry and yells at me so i gave up. anyway, she wants me to get a job before i go work this summer. which i don’t understand. she told me as long as i’m in school i don’t have to work. now she tells me i have to work for like a month to two months. 

i thought of putting a link to my paypal and letting whatever kind soul give me a dollar or so if they wished but my boyfriend said that would make me look like a bum. 

basically i’ve been made to feel like my life choices make me seem lazy or… i dunno. i just want to focus on my writing and work for myself and i dunno modelling or work for an up and coming company. things like that if it even makes sense. 
i’ve had one legit job ever (yeah i know you probably think i’m lazy too) but it’s not worth it. no benefits, no tax return, shitty hours, and shitty ass pay. part time isn’t shit and i don’t feel the need to work full time if i’ll be working for like a month or so. 

i dunno. fuck money. 

  · 4.2.14

i haven’t written anything person on tumblr in a while. i usually try to write a post every two weeks or so just so i can go back and see where i came from and see how far i’ve come.

Read More

I forgot tumblr existed.. holy fuck.

I don’t care what you do to me, but I don’t want you to hurt me. I’ve had enough hurt already in my life. More than enough. Now I want to be happy.

Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood  (via anditslove)

  · cross out the things you’ve done

Graduated high school. Kissed someone. Collected something really stupid. Smoked a cigarette. Got so drunk you passed out. Rode every ride at an amusement park. Gone to a rock concert. Helped someone. Gone fishing. Watched four movies in one night. Gone long periods of time without sleep. Lied to someone. Snorted cocaine. Failed a class. Smoked weed. Dealt drugs. Been in a car accident. Been in a tornado. Been to a funeral. Burned yourself. Ran a marathon. Cried yourself to sleep Spent over $200 in one day. Flown on a plane. Cheated on someone. Been cheated on. Written a 10 page letter. Gone skiing. Been sailing. Have a best friend. Lost someone you loved. Shoplifted something. Been to jail. Dangerously close to being in jail. Skipped school. Had detention. Got in trouble for something you didn’t do. Stolen books from the library. Gone to a different country. Dropped out of school. Watched the “Harry Potter” movies. Had an online diary. Had a yard sale. Had a lemonade stand. Actually made money at the lemonade stand. Been in a school play. Been fired from a job. Swam with dolphins. Taken a lie detector test. Voted for someone on a reality TV show. Written poetry. Read more than 20 books a year. Gone to Europe Loved someone you shouldn’t have. Used a coloring book over age 12. Had surgery. Had stitches. Taken a taxi. Seen the Washington Monument. Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once. Overdosed. Been in a fist fight. Gone surfing in California. Had a hamster/guinea pig. Pet a wild animal. Used a credit card. Did “spirit day” at school. Dyed your hair. Got a tattoo. Got straight A’s. Been on the Honor Roll. Know someone with HIV or AIDS. Made-out with someone. Played on a sports team.Snuck out of the house.  Swore at a teacher Gone laser tagging. Had a romantic relationship. Been on the TV. French braided. Skinny-dipped. Driven a car. Performed in front of an audience. Gone bungee-jumping. Been to Mexico. Crashed a car. Sky dived. Been kissed in the rain. Made an 11:11 wish. Drank alcohol. Forwarded a chain letter. Made a mistake.

(Source: larryishellacute)

I feel like I was not meant to
Have a beating heart,
A soul, and a mind.
I feel like I was meant to be
Dead because i want to
Drag my beating heart
To Antarctica and let it
Freeze, slice my chest
Open and fight my soul out
Of me, and make my mind die.
I have never felt fully happy.
Why waste a life on a person
Who feels lifeless?

Alexa Evangelista (via vodkakilledtheteens)

haven’t been on tumblr on my laptop in 2-3 weeks.

haven’t been on my laptop 2-3 weeks.

there’s a lot going on outside of the internet, try it some times.